Jermz Ponders

I must be losing my mind…

jermzsays — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 03:13:03 +0000

Best cover of a Christmas song.

I finally had it…

jermzsays — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 08:42:34 +0000

a moment of clarity in which one discovers the reason behind something significant. Hello epiphany, my name is Jeremiah. I start to realize how much of my decision making is completely horrendous or non-existent because of lousy guidance. I mean, if I had the clout to make the decision I didn’t make back then I would be completely different. One thing is for certain I would be way more successful with everything I would endeavor in, rather than scraping the bottom of the barrel of community college trying to get myself out of there. As well as having a certificate of completion in pharmacy technician which I don’t use because the labor system is so screwed up along with the economy. Really? How is one suppose to get experience when one doesn’t have a job. I don’t know maybe I should’ have stuck with my first job and bite the bullet everyday. The lack of making an adequate decision is my downfall, and I always having to rely on being told what to do isn’t my fault it is the way I was raised. I guess now since I had this epiphany I’ll be making more decisions on my own although they might not be great because I have to start off from square one. Only if I had more trust in myself rather than others everything would be better, but I have to a steeper learning curve because of the age factor… I don’t know I just really have myself to blame for not realizing this earlier…

Song of this emotion: Nobody’s Fault by Bachelor Of Science featuring Audio Angel.

Back to square one.

jermzsays — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 08:01:09 +0000

For a while I’ve gotten over my agoraphobia, but for some reason it returns. I mean my willingness to go out has been shot out by anxiety. The only times I leave the house is when I go to school, which is weird I guess my drive for progression with education overrides the anxiety. I force myself to go out sometimes, but I always feel the urge just to go back home. I don’t know, I guess reality is setting back in that I’m not on vacation anymore, or the fact that I need to find a job. I guess it is the inner child not wanting to face the working world where it is dog eat dog and the strongest survive. I would think that I would come back from a vacation motivated to break away from dependence and embrace independence. Oh well, I just hope I get over it.

Music of the day: Innocent undespair by M1dy.

Back to blogging.

jermzsays — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 11:06:56 +0000

Well, a lot has happened. My grammar skills have diminished, as if I was proficient at composing an English composition. I went and came back from the Philippines; that trip opened my eyes to certain things.

I mean how the almighty currency speaks to people. I feel that we all forget what the basis of life comes from. All we need is a means of survival. And the fact that when the currency becomes fickle the only thing that would hold value would be precious metals like gold, silver, and other various jewels that we deem valuable. It amazes me how seeing how rich people can be completely oblivious to others’ hardships. I mean what do things have to be so unfair for people who work harder than the people who do white collar jobs. It is because they aren’t born with such privilege that they all must struggle through life wondering why do I have it so hard, and why do I have to work so hard with little reward. This is how society is filled with a lot hypocrisy and holes. I mean really I want to have a utopia where we focus on the whole rather than the individual. This maybe considered as communism, but think about it why are things expensive? We believe that what “rich” people wear or drive it is a “MUST” for us to have the same thing. But where does that lead us? It leads us with less currency for us to spend. We must fulfill that image that we are “ballers.” Who do you thi9ng profits from such things? Corporations that are ran by the same conglomerates. I mean yes, it may seem different, but who are the people behind of this image? The media, which is ran by such conglomerates that want to control the world for themselves. One of the things that made me wake up was a simple song by Bob Marley called Redemption Song. Yes we know that he is a major “pothead”, but the fact that his mind was open to spread a message which many people miss is that we must emancipate ourselves from mental slavery. What do you thing the companies that own these media outlets do? Feed us mindless rhetoric and we take it for all its worth. We eat, sleep, and breath the lifestyle that is portrayed by these media outlets. And to think about it our thoughts is the only thing that is free, and our thoughts are being poisoned by what the media puts out. It is sad that people wear shirts of revolutionaries, but they refuse to stand for what they stand.

Song: Redemption Song by Bob Marley.

By: Giant wall of text…..

Anger…

jermzsays — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 12:30:36 +0000

I can’t remember when I was really angry or mad at something or someone. I am really a calm person who is relaxed, and I would help anyone out when they really need it. Guess, you could say I tend to put others above me. The thing that has me incredibly angry is someone who blatantly says everything is my fault, yeah the only thing that is my fault is caring so much, that I drop everything just to help you. You have other people around you to ask, but you refuse to do so. I have about enough , and I don’t feel dealing with your problems that you give to me. It isn’t my fault you let a druggie in the house, it isn’t my fault that you listen to him to refinance the house, it isn’t my fault you did it again just because you were jealous of your son painting his room, it isn’t my fault that you only care about yourself. I have an ear to listen any time when you have a problem. And when I have a problem you never listen to me. Why? It is like I gave you everything I have, but I need something you ignore me. Now I see where the other one gets it from. I don’t know why I even bother listening to you. You made me take a class other than my college courses I’m already taking. That class was hell, and that whole thing set me back 2 years. And when I had my job, you act like I didn’t do anything that hard. I worked everyday and I went to school from 6:30 am until 4 pm and I would have work after until 10pm. I wouldn’t sleep until 2 am in the morning, and you still gave me your burdens. And after all that, you act like I never did anything. When I told you that; you did not even give an ear to listen. I try so hard for this family and I don’t get anything, only vicious attacks because you found something that I didn’t use. I’ve been clean for 2 and a half years and you treat me like the druggie? You want to control everything I do. I don’t even want to go to the Philippines, give my ticket to someone who deserves it. Maybe the druggie wants to go, take him along I bet you two would be so happy. And don’t give me that shit that you care about my well being, you fake it because you want to brag about everything I do. You’re the worst person that I’ve ever came across in my life.

Sometimes I wish I could erase my past, and never listen to you because I would’ve gotten further in life without your horrendous guidance… The both of you.

I guess it’ll make them happy if I drink some gatorade…

Also, thank you for making me lose sleep.

New layout!

jermzsays — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 02:09:27 +0000

I guess I got to thank the person that made this layout. I worked 500 hours on MS paint to make my header. I guess, I like how this looks like, although I do miss seeing Misa Campo on the header hahaha jkjkjkjk! She is hot though, and I have no chance lol. Well an update, I am not really doing much a whole lot of me being lazy and loving my new temperpedic matress. Oh well I hope everyone is doing well. I’ll leave you with a song, which I think is pretty good the artist is very unknown but good.

The artist is Rantoboko. I don’t know the song, but it sounds nice.

Swedish enginuity!

jermzsays — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 06:18:09 +0000

Yes, the Sweds have created and engineered many things. But this matress has to top everything they ever created. My whole outlook on life has turned from negative to positive. I mean wow, I’ve been almost bedridden for like a week only because the comfort of this matress. The price is very ridiculous for a matress, but it is well worth it. There are some downsides to it like the smell of the matress and it takes a while for it to go away. But ultimately it boils down to comfort. The first night I slept on it I woke up with a smile on my face, and I have never had that experience before. This matress was this good that I had to blog about it, now back to sleep.

If I was only French Canadian…

jermzsays — Thu, 21 May 2009 05:42:06 +0000

I would have these freestyle skills.

FML

jermzsays — Mon, 04 May 2009 05:48:34 +0000

I bought a pack of newport 100′s… FML

I want to be Mr. President.

jermzsays — Sun, 03 May 2009 23:39:46 +0000

Not President of a country necessarily, but Mr. President. I used to remember trips our family would take to Vegas and for the whole drive my dad would bump nothing but 90′s dance music. That type of music was nice, it is better than what is considered as pop now. Although many of these artists were one hit wonders their music brought a feeling joy and happiness that a lot of the music today doesn’t. It is sad that the music was hillariously satirized by the movie Night at the Roxberry, but the music still lives on with the people that grew up with that music.

Song:

Mr. President- Coco Jambo